The Original Fake Steve Ballmer – Exiled by Blogger!

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Hmmmmm

Hmmm, where am I?
I don’t know how I got here, but I figured I may as well make the best of it!

Welcome Weiner!

I thought I could not possiblly have a more intense disdain of politicians, then along came Weiner who taught me to never say never! It probablly has something to do with the fact that my step-niece Billidrea was one of the women he sent a picture of “Mr Wiggly” to. When she told me I threw a chair across my office! (First time I’ve ever done that).

The guy actually called me and asked if I could send a few hundred employees down to the Target parking lot off 27A, he said:

“Mr Ballmer, I’m personally going to fight all of the recent bad press about me, I’m starting my, “You Need A. Weiner!” campaign right here in your fair city at noon, I need your support sir!”

I thought about it for a second and said,
“I’ll be right down, there is something I’d love to give you Mr. Weiner!”

He was giddy and replied, “I’m driving the Weinermobile, you can’t miss it.”
I said, “I assure you I won’t!”

What happened after that is a matter of your interpretation of the police report.
Good to know I still have the old Ballmer left jab!

I LOVE This Company!

The Death of 3rd Party Security Vultures and Such!


McAfee Inc., Trend Micro Inc., CA Inc. and especially Symantec, … say goodnight! We are about to announce MS ForeFront 2.0!
Let me make it clear that while I have tolerated these “anti-virus” vendors for years, something about their very existence has not set very well with me. I mean, having a bunch of multi-million dollar companies that depend solely on there being bugs, leaks, holes, exploitables, mistakes, oversights and problems in Windows dosen’t speak very well of Microsoft. They are like carrion, buzzards, jackels, … protecting a rotten carcass from other smaller vermin. They always argue, “But, Bu-bu-but you need us!”, maybe that was true in the past, but no longer!

Windows8 IS BULLETPROOF!

None of these quacks bag of tricks are any longer necessary!
Between WGA and Forefront the OS and Genuine MS apps are totally impervious to attack! They are so secure that many times even the registered owners have trouble gaining access to the computer! So then how could any hacker?
These vultures will kick, choke and whine as the user-base realizes this truth, but I say good riddance, your success reflected badly on us anyway.

Tell Me Vs Siri

Microsoft Hires Rev. Harold Camping!


After his third end of the world prophecy failed, Rev. Harold Camping resigned from his ministry.
I felt however that Camping was ousted unfairly, so I have hired him here at Microsoft to be director of future plans and market directions predictions.
He has already given me a date for the end of Apple!

f
I decided to go out and see what this Occupy stuff was all about! I wore my mask ofcourse!

They are not all that bad!

ARGH!

ZunePhone NEAR!

I just wanted to wet your whistles, this thing is gonna make that iPhone look totally primitive! We still have it
in developement but per my orders we are hastening our release date to the 1st qtr of 2014!
Hang on we are gonna change the world!

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