The Original Fake Steve Ballmer – Exiled by Blogger!

Vikings?

Prime Minister Jens Stoltenberg with me in Oslo on Tuesday.
I’m in Europe this week and am hating every minute of it! Unless you
are a connoisseur of exotic smells, this place will make you ill! I’m a
pro though and I smile through it all, ancient open sewers and all!
I thought it would be interesting here in Oslo Norway, after all these
guys are the descendants of Vikings! I like Vikings, they are
unpretentious he-men who take no crap off of anyone! – Boy, was I
disappointed.
The first of these watered-down Vikings I met when I got off the G5
was either an ugly woman or an effeminate man (I haven’t figured
out what this “guide” is yet) my protocol advisers say, “don’t ask sir!”
I haven’t met anyone with horns on their heads yet and everywhere I
look there is porn featuring obese women, pale men and whatevers
like my guide!
They took me to some weird looking “Centrico Centre” to make a
speech, but the translator screwed up my “flow” and was spraying
when he spoke (they all do). The audience liked my speech though, I
promised them something or another and they went crazy! Their
Prime Minister Stolenberg came on stage and kissed me! Twice! I
don’t play that! …. I can’t wait to get to the hotel!
I ordered my BWBG7 (Black Water Bodyguard), “If another one of
these confused, watered-down, hornless Vikings tries to kiss me, you
tackle them!”
… The trip continues! Boiled Mutton for diner!
Oh the things I do for my Microsoft!

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