The Original Fake Steve Ballmer – Exiled by Blogger!

To Live.com is to Love!

I announced to the press and everybody that we were doing a major overhaul to Live.com. I had to tell them that because they kept asking
what we were doing, (Dang journalist!).
Usually when I say stuff like this I know that the BIT (Ballmer Implementation Team) will quickly do something to cover me. In this case the new BIT leader, RAJivhe, did a masterful job! He monitors my every word whenever I speak in public, he changed the backdrop photo on the Live.com Homepage, moved some menus, changed a few terms and brightened the colors. He then sent out press packets announcing the NEW Live.com “Your Web, Your Way!” The whole thing has been heralded by pundits, analyst, journalist, designers, all over the net as a major breakthrough!
I called RaJivhe to my office to reward him for his exemplary quick work, I said to him,
“What do you want? Just name it and you shall have it!”
He bowed in obesience to me (I like that) and chanted,
“Oh you Eminence, to serve a master such as thee is great reward, but there is one thing you servant would dare ask …”
… As he kissed my feet I proclaimed, “dare to ask of me RAJivhe, it shall be yours!”
He looked at me and serenely said,
“In two weeks I wish to sacrifice a two camels in the main office atrium, it is for the feast of Rabgalalab, a sweet smelling burnt offering for Pahsto – he who dwells between the golden goats!”
I paused, waved my arms about and chanted, “So shall it be! Just get with HR and house-cleaning to schedule a time.”
RAJivhe bowed over and over as he backed out of my office door.
LESSON:
Never promise, “anything you want” two weeks before the feast of Rabgalalab. But if you do, keep your word and see to it that fire extinguishers are on hand.

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2 responses

  1. Jim Boggs

    Hey Steve-o, what’s up? Hope I haven’t missed the sacrifice yet. I just love the smell of burning camel. I use to smoke them but had to give it up. I mean it was either the camels or weed and you know how we loves the weed. Uh, can I say that here? Well talk to you later, maybe I’ll see you at the hash bar.

    July 9, 2011 at 8:35 pm

  2. stevefakeballmer

    The Ceremony is July 14

    July 10, 2011 at 3:55 am

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