The Original Fake Steve Ballmer – Exiled by Blogger!

An XP Stay of Execution?

In Brussels (like sprouts) this morning, my day started out like it always does when I’m over here in one of these whinny, foulweathered, smelly, old looking, hairy-womaned European countries.
I was accosted by a pack of illdressed, garlic-breathed europorters yelling from the barricades what they thought were trick questions, sheesh! Only Eurolawyers are worse!
I decided to throw these “journalist” in their tight little suits a bone, so I told my Blackwater bodyguards to let a few of them through to me (but down wind).
Brussels is pretty boring so sometimes you have to make your own fun, I figured I’d jerk some of these cheese-eaters around and make some tabloid headlines:
EURO-PORTERS: “Missthah Ballma, vart about Vinduhs EX PEE, vill you still kill EX PEE und June 30th? Jah, Yah ….”
BALLMER: “XP will hit an end-of-life. We have announced one.
If customer feedback varies, we can always wake up smarter, but right now, we have a plan for end-of-life for new XP shipments.”
EURO-PORTERS: “Yest not enough demandh now?”
BALLMER: “Our plan for Windows XP availability is unchanged. We’re
confident that’s the right thing to do based on the feedback we’ve
heard from our customers and partners, I am unaware of any
demandh for XP at this time.”
All of the euro-porters were dumb-founded, flabbergasted, shocked, speechless …. so I took it a little further:
I turned to my entourage of secretaries, translators, advisers, PR people, nerds, yes-men, aids and BWBG’s and asked loudly:
…people, nerds, yes-men, aids and BWBG’s and asked loudly:
“Is there anybody here who wants XP to stay around?”
They responded enthusiastically in unison, “NO! Kill it sir!”
I said, “If you want Vista, throw yours hands up!” All of them threw up both hands.
We all laughed, got in our limos and sped off.
As we left I looked out the rear window and saw the euro-porters still standing there, frozen in disbelief.
I said in a low voice to my secretary beside me;
“Betty make a note to fire logistics advisor Sanderson! … he didn’t say sir after the Kill it.”

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