The Original Fake Steve Ballmer – Exiled by Blogger!

Monkey-Boy Conspiracy pt. 3, Chair Chucking

Another part in this whole thing where Microsoft’s enemies try to portray me as an out-of-control maniac is the perjured testimony of two disgruntled exemployees, Kai-Fu Lie and Mark Liecovsky. They claimed that when I discovered their backstabbing treachery in leaving MS for other companies:
“Mr. Ballmer said: ‘Just tell me it’s not Google’.
At that point, Mr. Ballmer picked up a chair and threw it across the room hitting a table in his office, then launched into a tirade about Google CEO Eric Schmidt.
“I’m going to f***ing bury that guy, I have done it before, and I will do it again. I’m going to f***ing kill Google.”
Absolutely anyone who knows me knows that this is a total lie for several reasons:
1. I never use any profanity stronger than “dang it, dog-gone, darn and shoot!”
2. I don’t even know who the CEO of Gaggle is.
3. I have never thrown a chair, all of the chairs in my office are bolted down, so there!
Let me reiterate #3, every last chair in my office is bolted to the floor!
Why? Well that is something I will explain at a later date, but I think all of you are beginning to get the idea, our enemies will go to any lengths to disparage my dog-gone reputation and I am darn tired of it!
Sorry to lose my temper like that.


One response

  1. hotshot bald cop

    By no means considered it that way.

    August 29, 2011 at 7:06 pm

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