The Original Fake Steve Ballmer – Exiled by Blogger!

ChrisP, You Have Got To Be Kidding! I was

I was slumming in the Microsoft basement where we keep the NtN’s (Nasal-toned Nerds). One of them very uncharacteristically approached me and spoke,
“Sir Mista Ballmer sir, have you seen what Chris Pirillo has been saying about Microsoft on his blog, Mista Ballmer sir?”
The NtN was waving his hands, shivering, sweaty, … I keenly perceived that whoever this Chris guy was, he must be pretty important to NtN’s. I of course would never admit to one of these
basementers that I had no idea who or what he was talking about, so I just barked,
“Bring this guy up on the BIG SCREEN!”
I then calmly walked over to the balcony to see what had the NtN’s so upset on the “BIG SCREEN” (the world’s largest 1440″ x900″ plasma display).
NtN: “Sir, Mista Ballmer sir, Behold ChrisP!”

They started showing some uber-nerb’s podcast, he was panting, scratching, crying, flailing, hyperventilating as he wailed and railed about supposed deficiencies at Microsoft.
ChrisP: “… Microsoft software has let me down, you down, it just does not work, Lord have mercy! Lord have mercy! …”

I raised my hand, the video feed stopped. I whispered to the nerd, “… and why is this clown important?”
The NtN looked at me in astonishment and shakily replied, “He is ChrisP, the cyber-nerd, there is none greater sir. That is other than yourself and Mista Gates, sir, Mista Ballmer sir.”
The NtN’s glasses had fogged up, he was crying, I said jestingly,
“That question was only a test of your knowledge boy!”
I laughed, he snorted, all of the NtN’s started snorting!
I then raised both of my hands, all of the NtN’s froze in breathless anticipation of what I would proclaim, and proclaim I did:
“Be it known this day that the once great cyber-nerd, Chris Pirillo, has become a heretic! BUT! Fear not! I shall personally contact him and bring him back into the light of Vista! Until such time all of his feeds, blogs, podcast, … are hereby banned from these premises! So let it be written, so let it be done!”
All of the NtN’s were relieved as they scurried about to erase every reference to this Chris person that they could find!
They applauded as I went back to the elevator.
I just hope I remember whatever it was that I told them I was going to do tomorrow, whatever.


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