Jr. has taken over the family business of Running North Korea and he is doing a horrible job! I remember back when Kim Jong Ill ran the place I even went there regularly for conferences and vacation. Yes, vacation in North Korea, think about it:
No congested roadways.
Friendly people who are afraid to death of you.
Security detail following you 24/7 absolutely free.
No pesky internet.
Full nights sleep, the whole country powers down at 7:30 pm.
None of that “deciding things” stress here, they decide everything for you. What a relief.
Brisk, refreshing, exhilarating cold showers (from 6-10 am).
The entire country is on a strict weight watchers plan, not chubbies here.
No messing around trying to figure out the darn tv remote, there is only one channel.
Gilligan’s island reruns from 3-6 everyday.
Elvis impersonators are everywhere. The entire country is dedicated to Elvis.
Back to the good old days of Windows 3.1.
Yes North Korea is a CEO’s dream come true, no complaining workers or whistle-blowers, just contentment and conformity everywhere. “Imagine all the people living for today….”
“You may have heard about all of the commotion on the Fake News stations about me being my own fake blogger, which I am not! The ‘leaked – anonymous sourced documents’ showing collusion between me and this blog are untrue and spread by the continuing RUSSIAN Disinformation cabal.”
When I said Russians, all of the reporters got out of their seats and rushed me to get their microphones as close as possible. I went on;
“The Steve Fake Ballmer website has nothing to do with who I am not pretending not to be or who I am really not. I blame the RUSSIANS! They are the ones behind the fake fake blogger epidemic and oppression of fake journalism according to my sources. The RUSSIANS are colluding with colluders doing this to upset our fake democratic values which I know and have never known about. Let me make this clear, I am not fake Steve Ballmer pretending not to be me! – The RUSSIANS are not who I am!”
I wanted to get on CNN and indeed I did, all you have to do is say RUSSIANS and speak their jargon.
Пусть сила Зуне будет с тобой сейчас и всегда.
Letterman was a blast back in the day!
(I don’t know and don’t want to know what assinated means!)
Who could ever forget when I sat in Steve Martin’s lap and gave Letterman his very own Steve Ballmer Action Figure?
Usually I don’t turn down party invitations from A-listers so easily and quickly, but this bunch I will make an exception for.
Sorry, I intended to make this a much longer post, but I all of a sudden feel the need for a nice long hot shower with a brillo-pad scrub down.