The Original Fake Steve Ballmer – Exiled by Blogger!


Nomophobia – I Warned You People


BORED! Basketball is Not Enough!


After seeing this photo of me and my receptionist (Helga the Zunite) in my office at the Clippers Stadium, I realized that I need to get out more.  I actually played carpet-golf for 6 hours that day. I got no emergency calls, no bribe attempts, no kiss-uppers, no begging yes men, no worshippers prostrating themselves before me, no paparazzi outside the window …. even CNN has not told any lies about me this month! In other words, “I am becoming your run-of-the-mill ball-team owning billionaire,” and I HATE IT!

I am in a funk, I’m changing that today!

The Disaster Called Startrek Discovery


Where do I start?

OK, Klingons!

ghob’e’ Qu’ Hoch ‘e’ naQ tIq HoS je

I tried to be open minded here but the timeline is wrong, technology is wrong, sets are wrong, acting is flat, plots are tortured, …… the Klingons are not Klingons!

Who came up with this stuff? Kilngons are passionate, extreme, wild-eyed! The Kilngons on Discovery are mask, that’s it.

I tried to like this show but I HATE it! The writers should be fed to my pitakh!

It actually makes me like The Orville.

Calling Forth the Horde!


It’s been a while since I leaned back and screamed my old war cry. Calling for all out battle, war, destruction and dismemberment of all Linux, Apple, Android and open source supporting corporations. Howling like a banshee from atop the hills of Washington State ….. what a feeling of freedom!

When I reclaim my rightful place as CEO, I’m really going to let loose!

Sign petition here

Dave Letterman and I


Letterman was a blast back in the day!
(I don’t know and don’t want to know what assinated means!)
Who could ever forget when I sat in Steve Martin’s lap and gave Letterman his very own Steve Ballmer Action Figure?


The No Mo Roy Mo EVER! Bumper Sticker


The Pelosi Assault

Screen Shot 2017-10-09 at 1.31.05 AM

I have always considered myself to be a man of strong resolve, impeccable character, unimpeachable morals, great tolerance and unassailable hubris. But, all of that went out the window when Pelosi dug those press-on nails into my arm as she chased me down outside of the Senate Fake Blogger Hearings. It all happened so fast that I out of pure reflex almost backhanded her. I had no idea what was going on! I only did my standard “storm out of the room in a fit of indignation,” then next thing I know this Harpy has her claws in me!

She wouldn’t let go, she kept mumbling, “The Russians, dey gon’a git me too! Me too! The Russians, dey gon’a git me too! Me too! Protect me Stevey, me too!”

I said back to this hysterical wrinkley politician,

“From what my people tell me you don’t need to worry about Russians, what you should worry about is being next up on that Clinton Body-count list!”

She paused, looked me in the face (what breath) and said slowly;

“Who do you think the Russians work for fool?”

Right then, two secret service guys came up behind her, one whispered, “we have your medicine ma’am, let go of the fake blogger, please don’t make us taze you again.”

She released me, composed herself and walked off. One of the agents looked at me and said discreetly, “This never happened, understand?” I nodded.

btw: you never read this post, understand?

Register For The Los Angeles (Staples Stadium) Free FSB Rally


That’s right people, I will be in Los Angeles at Staples Stadium Nov. 18. The Church of Windows Mass Choir and the Clippers Mascot will be there too. It’s going to be off the chain baby!

Register with Everbrite today, Tickets are free but the venue holds 850 guest. Bring your Zune (operating or not).

See you there!

Yes, I Compared Bill Gates to Chairman Mao, and?

maoamoWhat is all of the fuss about? Moa was a historic figure whose actions will be studied for centuries to come, the same is true for Bill. I studied Moa in college and you know he wasn’t all that bad a guy, I mean, most people don’t know what’s best for them, “they must be guided, lead in the way, taught habbits that unify the whole for the individual is nothing”.
If you are not the CEO of a worldwide corporation I guess you cannot really appreciate some of Moa’s philosophy. As far as I am concerned his main problem was just that he didn’t believe in PROFIT! … but then again, most democrats don’t either.

Errant Reports of MS Bowing to Google! . :-(

googles-new-logo-5078286822539264-2-hpFor the life of me I have no idea where people get some of this stuff being passed off as tech-journalism today.

“Microsoft Changes Code to Accommodate Google” – What a bunch of BS!
We are nearing the release of Windows 11 and as usual are doing hundreds of things to improve our flagship product, BUT, one thing we are not doing is changing even one line of code to accommodate that bloated crapware put out by Google! NEVER!
If those guys can’t write apps that take full advantage of our state of the art OS, so be it! We are not responsible for their incompetence, period!
I am sooo angry right now that I have to stop and take another Valium ahead of schedule.

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