The Original Fake Steve Ballmer – Exiled by Blogger!

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Who Am I?

I have been told that speculation as to my identity is building! Some of those who have been asked, “Are you Fake Steve Ballmer?”









Dave Letterman and I

tonight

Letterman was a blast back in the day!
(I don’t know and don’t want to know what assinated means!)
Who could ever forget when I sat in Steve Martin’s lap and gave Letterman his very own Steve Ballmer Action Figure?

I am the I’m a PC Man!

imamacimapc

Apple used to ridicule Microsoft with all of those “I’m a Mac – I’m a PC Ads,” but today I can say, “Thank goodness for them!”

Why would I say that? Well, it’s true! I say, “consider the source.”

Being ridiculed by loafer-wearing, fuzzy-haired, artsy-fartsy, hey-look-at-me boys with overgrown egos and a sense of entitlement is not a bad thing! The whole thing back-fired on Apple you see. People started to feel sympathy for the PC-guy. They depicted him as dull and unimaginative; he wasn’t “hip,” he wasn’t “cool or down or stylish.” Well, what they were actually talking about was 92.634% of the population! People just got sick and tired of the snarky “Mac,” he was just a little tooooo perfect! You know? The guy you pretend to like but really hate because he makes you look bad standing next to him.

We had it with the sanctimonious looks and eye rolls!

I’m a PC! I’m a PC now and forever!

The Death of Common Sense! NEVER TRUST A JURY!

I am so depressed right now.
Why?
Because of this stupid case with this stupid homicidal girl who no doubt whatsoever in my mind and 99.999924% of every other person in the world who are old enough to form sentences!
How was it possible to actually find 12 people, so dense, ignorant, gullible, …. To serve on one jury?
I ask this:
If the jury found her not guilty of the act of murder, how can they then find her guilty of lieing about the same murder? Yet they did!
This is simply insane!
Fortunately there is a higher court where the guilty must ultimately pay! Where the judge and jury have not forgotten about the victim, that beautiful, innocent, angelic little trusting child Caylee.
I will leave this “lieing slut’s” (her lawyer’s term for her) up to that court, since we obviously no longer have the mental capacity to do our duty to dispense any iota of justice.

Bill at CFFSB Again! A Man of Intelligence and Stamina!


At this quarter’s CFFSB Luncheon we had our very first repeat speaker!
“A man of intelligence and stamina” as he terms himself, none other than ex-president William Jefferson Clinton!
During his speech, Bill addressed the rumors that he may be called to take on my job should the ZunePhone, ZunePad and stock price go down in flames in the next few months! Bill said:
“… I have full confidence in Stephanos and his team! Hey, everybody has a few bad years, believe me I know! Steve like myself is a man of intelligence and amazing stamina! As for rumors that I would take his job, well, just let me say that my hands are almost always full! Any such thing happening is highly unlikely.”
He then looks at me, raises his glass of Boones-Farm and toast:
“My friend, you are a gemntleman and a scholar! One whose depth of character is unquestioned in all areanas of life! Mozoltov my friend!”
The crowd stood in applause, Bill exited out the side door. He said he had to leave early because of “pressing matters,” I understood naturally.
If anybody were to ever take my place though, I think he would be the guy!

A Few Jokes:


A man goes to a shrink and says, ‘Doctor, my wife is unfaithful to me. Every evening, she goes to Larry’s bar and picks up men. In fact, she sleeps with anybody who asks her! I’m going crazy. What do you think I should do?’
‘Relax,’ says the Doctor, ‘take a deep breath and calm down. Now, tell me, exactly where is Larry’s bar?’

————————————–
John was on his deathbed and gasped pitifully. ‘Give me one last request, dear,’he said.
‘Of course, John,’ his wife said softly.
‘Six months after I die,’ he said, ‘I want you to marry George.’
‘But I thought you hated George,’ she said.
With his last breath John said, ‘I do!’

————————————–
A man goes to see the Rabbi. ‘Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it.’
The Rabbi asked, ‘What’s wrong?’
The man replied, ‘My wife is poisoning me.’
The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, ‘How can that be?’
The man then pleads, ‘I’m telling you, I’m certain she’s poisoning me, what should I do?’
The Rabbi then offers, ‘Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I’ll see what I can find out and I’ll let you know.’
A week later the Rabbi calls the man and says, “I spoke to her on the phone for three hours. You want my advice?’
The man said yes and the Rabbi replied, ‘Take the poison’

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