The Original Fake Steve Ballmer – Exiled by Blogger!

Posts tagged “personal

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The PodStalker – The Smackdown!

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Visit From Bishop Smirnoff and the Wise-men

It was a special day at Vista Chapel Church of Windows, because I had some very special guest! Bishop Smirnoff and a delegation of his “wise-men” flew in from St. Petersburg.
I greeted them in the gift shop. I asked Bishop about his denomination, he answered:

“Oh great Ballmer, we were all at one time Russian Orthodox Reformed Freestyle Eastern United Brethren, but one day I was inspired from on high to Bing your name! But, of course I immediately found your blog and Flicker Repository of artistic riches! I read every post, studied every picture! I shared your sacred insightfulness with my wise-men! Our lives were changed! You can barely imagine our excitement when we first saw that you had established Vista Chapel COW!
We saved to make our pilgrimage here and to come and learn more of the ‘Way of the Zune’ from your most ample mouth great ZuneMaster! Speak, speak now Oh great Ballmer! Thy servants shall hear and obey!”

I told them what I tell everyone here:
“Shun non-Microsoft products! Beware viruses! x-Box daily! Upgrade to whatever is the latest Vista! Chastise the iPoders! Follow the way of the Zune!”

They were so receptive! We talked for hours!

They had to get back to their monastery, so I put them on Percy (my jet), gave them 100 pre-press editions of “The Monkey-boy Conspiracy” and coupons for half off Windows upgrades! THEY WERE SO HAPPY!

As Percy took off, I waved and shouted, “Shalom, return safely to Florida!”


I LOVE THE VILLAGE PEOPLE!

I remember when I was in college, going to their concerts in my plumber outfit. I danced the night away, pipewrenchs in both hands, eyes closed, spinning and skipping, waving my arms wildly …..

“YMCA— fun to be at the YMCA —- YMCA— go to the YMCA —-”

When the song was over, I’d open my eyes and see that I was dancing so good that everyone else had cleared the floor and they were just staring at me.

ahhhhh, Those were the days ….. I was such a Macho, Macho man!


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… As I was Passing the Times Square AT&T Store!

Summer 2011


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A Little Help From My Friends!


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Rallying Microsoft-Syria!


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WE STAND! WE FIGHT! WE LIVE! WE DEMAND!