The Original Fake Steve Ballmer – Exiled by Blogger!


To is to Love!

I announced to the press and everybody that we were doing a major overhaul to I had to tell them that because they kept asking
what we were doing, (Dang journalist!).
Usually when I say stuff like this I know that the BIT (Ballmer Implementation Team) will quickly do something to cover me. In this case the new BIT leader, RAJivhe, did a masterful job! He monitors my every word whenever I speak in public, he changed the backdrop photo on the Homepage, moved some menus, changed a few terms and brightened the colors. He then sent out press packets announcing the NEW “Your Web, Your Way!” The whole thing has been heralded by pundits, analyst, journalist, designers, all over the net as a major breakthrough!
I called RaJivhe to my office to reward him for his exemplary quick work, I said to him,
“What do you want? Just name it and you shall have it!”
He bowed in obesience to me (I like that) and chanted,
“Oh you Eminence, to serve a master such as thee is great reward, but there is one thing you servant would dare ask …”
… As he kissed my feet I proclaimed, “dare to ask of me RAJivhe, it shall be yours!”
He looked at me and serenely said,
“In two weeks I wish to sacrifice a two camels in the main office atrium, it is for the feast of Rabgalalab, a sweet smelling burnt offering for Pahsto – he who dwells between the golden goats!”
I paused, waved my arms about and chanted, “So shall it be! Just get with HR and house-cleaning to schedule a time.”
RAJivhe bowed over and over as he backed out of my office door.
Never promise, “anything you want” two weeks before the feast of Rabgalalab. But if you do, keep your word and see to it that fire extinguishers are on hand.


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Ballmer the Baller


Why do you think I really bought the Los Angles Clippers? Was it because they are a great team? Get real!

It was because my boy wants to be a pro-baller one day and I did not want to take a chance that his heart would be broken when he wanted to be drafted! A father’s love has no limits, 2 billion was not even close to what I would spend to make Jr. happy.

If you had insane free money like me you would have done the same.

Nowhere Man ep21

RIP David Cassidy


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