The Original Fake Steve Ballmer – Exiled by Blogger!


Sweet Home Chicago Break Time


I am the I’m a PC Man!


Apple used to ridicule Microsoft with all of those “I’m a Mac – I’m a PC Ads,” but today I can say, “Thank goodness for them!”

Why would I say that? Well, it’s true! I say, “consider the source.”

Being ridiculed by loafer-wearing, fuzzy-haired, artsy-fartsy, hey-look-at-me boys with overgrown egos and a sense of entitlement is not a bad thing! The whole thing back-fired on Apple you see. People started to feel sympathy for the PC-guy. They depicted him as dull and unimaginative; he wasn’t “hip,” he wasn’t “cool or down or stylish.” Well, what they were actually talking about was 92.634% of the population! People just got sick and tired of the snarky “Mac,” he was just a little tooooo perfect! You know? The guy you pretend to like but really hate because he makes you look bad standing next to him.

We had it with the sanctimonious looks and eye rolls!

I’m a PC! I’m a PC now and forever!

Dave Letterman and I


Letterman was a blast back in the day!
(I don’t know and don’t want to know what assinated means!)
Who could ever forget when I sat in Steve Martin’s lap and gave Letterman his very own Steve Ballmer Action Figure?

Bill at CFFSB Again! A Man of Intelligence and Stamina!

At this quarter’s CFFSB Luncheon we had our very first repeat speaker!
“A man of intelligence and stamina” as he terms himself, none other than ex-president William Jefferson Clinton!
During his speech, Bill addressed the rumors that he may be called to take on my job should the ZunePhone, ZunePad and stock price go down in flames in the next few months! Bill said:
“… I have full confidence in Stephanos and his team! Hey, everybody has a few bad years, believe me I know! Steve like myself is a man of intelligence and amazing stamina! As for rumors that I would take his job, well, just let me say that my hands are almost always full! Any such thing happening is highly unlikely.”
He then looks at me, raises his glass of Boones-Farm and toast:
“My friend, you are a gemntleman and a scholar! One whose depth of character is unquestioned in all areanas of life! Mozoltov my friend!”
The crowd stood in applause, Bill exited out the side door. He said he had to leave early because of “pressing matters,” I understood naturally.
If anybody were to ever take my place though, I think he would be the guy!

I Loved Richard Pryor



It’s an old debate which has once again bubbled to the surface of our culture:


In our quest to be generous, inclusive and understanding of the diversities of sentient beings, maybe we have gone too far? Maybe in our zeal to not make others not feel bad, we have allowed ourselves to be duped into accepting things which are counter to our own best interest. I propose ladies and gentlemen that we have made a grave mistake when we have chosen to look away and not seriously look into the question of:


Have we devolved so far culturally and intellectually that we cannot recognize what is standing directly before us? Why do we refuse to accept the fact that there is a such thing as monsters? We even elect them to Congress? Are we insane? The first step is to gather our courage and confront the issue head-on by answering the question:



I think most of you can easily ascertain where I stand on the issue.

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