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SIGN THE PETITION!
Stop just talking about the “good old days” – Sign the petition and help them to come back!
Welcome to Vista Chapel Church of Windows
“To those who dwelt in darkness hath the glorious light of the Zune appeared never to be forgotten! The CEO of all comes the second time with greatness: walking upon iphones and destroying androids with the flame from his tongue!” – II Gates 6:8
Today’s Defrag-Service was for some reason sparsely attended, but the light of the Zune shines on! You all must change your pod-using ways before it is too late my brothers and sistahs! Apple’s spreading their dangerous idevices everywhere and I am as dedicated to plucking as many as I can out of their clutches.
You can help too, I must regain my position as CEO at Microsoft:
Make Microsoft Great Again – Sign the petition:
ZunePhone NEARer!
I just wanted to wet your whistles, this thing is gonna make that iPhone look totally primitive! We still have it in developement but per my orders we are hastening our release date to the 1st qtr of 2018!
Hang on we are gonna change the world!
Who Am I?
I have been told that speculation as to my identity is building! Some of those who have been asked, “Are you Fake Steve Ballmer?”
Dave Letterman and I
Letterman was a blast back in the day!
(I don’t know and don’t want to know what assinated means!)
Who could ever forget when I sat in Steve Martin’s lap and gave Letterman his very own Steve Ballmer Action Figure?
I am the I’m a PC Man!
Apple used to ridicule Microsoft with all of those “I’m a Mac – I’m a PC Ads,” but today I can say, “Thank goodness for them!”
Why would I say that? Well, it’s true! I say, “consider the source.”
Being ridiculed by loafer-wearing, fuzzy-haired, artsy-fartsy, hey-look-at-me boys with overgrown egos and a sense of entitlement is not a bad thing! The whole thing back-fired on Apple you see. People started to feel sympathy for the PC-guy. They depicted him as dull and unimaginative; he wasn’t “hip,” he wasn’t “cool or down or stylish.” Well, what they were actually talking about was 92.634% of the population! People just got sick and tired of the snarky “Mac,” he was just a little tooooo perfect! You know? The guy you pretend to like but really hate because he makes you look bad standing next to him.
We had it with the sanctimonious looks and eye rolls!
I’m a PC! I’m a PC now and forever!
stevefakeballmer 